By Fatima Malik
ADHD is a condition where the brain is divergent. Meaning, an ADHD brain is different from the vast majority of brains that are considered typical.
A divergent brain’s mental and emotional development is not standard, and ADHD makes self-regulation difficult.
As adults, we sometimes lose patience when a child behaves “childish” even though there is no other way for them to be behaving anyway.
Usually, children with ADHD will do something they know to be an undesirable action or reaction, and before they get a chance to regulate themselves, we intervene, usually with words. We try to explain what they did wrong and what they should have done, along with what they need to do in the future.
For a very young child who is learning the rights and wrongs of the world, talking may work. But for a tween with ADHD, lecturing or reinforcing the same concepts in words is not going to have the effect you want it to.
They know what is wrong, but they just need time to self-regulate to step out of that ‘tantrum’ state.
According to some parents of tweens with ADHD, a very effective way for letting their child self-regulate is to let them be.
Less talking or no talking can sometimes leads to faster self-regulation.
For example, if a tween with ADHD has an explosive reaction to something a classmate or a sibling did. The best course of action is to remove them (or related parties) from the situation.
Of course, this does not mean you reward the behaviour; it means you make the situation as neutral as possible.
If the tween uses harsh words or says hurtful things, do not respond.
Of course, a tween is aware that breaking things will not help their situation, and because the environment has been neutralized, they wouldn’t have any reason to disrupt the situation further.
Kids with ADHD need support and understanding more than anything. Support comes from having their psychologist or psychotherapist teach them self-regulation skills that will have lifelong advantages.
Positive Kids has a holistic approach towards treating ADHD and related conditions for the whole family because ADHD affects the individual and their loved ones just as much.
Call today to find out how you can help your child with ADHD manage their life as they grow up.
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